Week 8

As you can see we have survived the 6week mark! Amazingly I am still going strong! This is the first time I actually sat down and counted how long he has been gone, I think that has helped!

God knew just what we needed, like always, and the 6week mark was actually our Spring Break! It started out that we were going to head to NOLA, ASAP, and spend the week with my Gmaw! She is so awesome and I should write a WHOLE blog just on her! At some point we changed our minds and decided to head to Austin to buy a camper! YUP, you read that right! I bought a camper!

My in-laws were there to help me out! I got to the place were the camper was (East side of Austin) and the guy decided to tell us then that he didn't have the title! Well, we weren't going to buy it if we couldn't get the title! We ended us spending the night at Bs Aunt Donna and Uncle Rays house and the next day headed towards San Antonio because my in-laws had a funeral to attend! We decided we would just follow them around for a few days! That evening the Austin Camper guy called us to tell us he now had the title! Two kids, two grandparents and I headed back towards Austin and bought our camper! Super excited!

F.R.O.G.

Most of you reading this already know that my husband works off shore. Short story is that we met in college and I knew then that this would be our life. I have never been "afraid" of it or "worried" or whatever you want to call it! It is what it is. We married in Jan of 2005 (still in school) had Tanner Dec 2005 and by the next Feb he had finished school and started working off shore, 28days on 28 off. Its just the life we have always had! I finished school with Tanner while he worked offshore! I look back and wonder, "How in the world did I do that?!?!" It was hard, and there were times I think I said, "Thats it, I am done." BUT 5 years later its safe to say I am a pretty strong gal because of it! I am pretty independent, I have to play Mommy and Daddy half the year so it makes you not so "girly" and you do things that Dads are "supposed" to do! I have thought about how single Moms handle things, my heart breaks for them. I only do it half the time, they are full on everything, all the time, to everyone! Praying for all single Moms out there! (Love you Steph!)

This time out he is going for 3months! 3MONTHS! YIKES! I really am having a hard time wrapping my head around it! I am calm (considering) at this point but I worry about the 6week mark! We have done 6weeks in the past and I know that it's my breaking point. I am trying to do things now to prepare myself for that time! Like writing in my blog! I am hoping that it's my way to vent or to share things that I am going through!! The good news is that at the end of the 3months we are hoping to have most of our debt paid off AND the BIGGEST news is that we are hoping for a job change! Its time. We are ready for it and our family is ready for it! Our marriage is ready for it! The change will be hard, mainly because of the pay cut but I know that God will provide for us! He always does.

I TRY to F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely on God). Sometimes that is hard to do! I think a lot of times we just lean on Him. We don't really tend to let Him carry us, so to speak. Its human nature to want to take control and not let it go. I think I am slightly fearful of this! I know at some point in the next 3months I will have to let go and let Him carry me through it! I like having control over the things I know I can control because there are too many things in this world we CANT control! The last few days I keep going back to the "Footprints" poem and funny enough someone brought it up in my Bible Study this morning! LOVE how God throws things at you like that! I will KEEP reminding myself that He wants to carry us and He wants us to want to be carried! So here I am Lord! TAKE ME, CARRY ME! :) No, really.

All that being said, I really do feel a shift in myself coming. The last few months I have trying to find ways to change! I know my weaknesses and thats the first step right? I like to think I am pretty honest with myself about it too! I wish I was more openly honest about it, so that I could be kept accountable for my actions when I failed. I need someone in my life to say, "You screwed up!" Sounds harsh but so true! I think we all need someone like that! That would be a true friend. I am hoping with this change I learn to stop trying to control things and to let God take over and "carry" us through all the changes in our house too!

One weakness that I will share is that I, all too often, blame having young kids on my lack of serving God! One of the most enjoyable things for me is to feed people. I have in the past served at soup kitchens, served breakfast to the poor and one of my MOST favorite moments in my ENTIRE LIFE was making sandwiches for people after Hurricane IKE and Tanner and I drove around passing them out to anyone and everyone we could find that would need them! We also made spaghetti and seriously had like a small kitchen of food out of my friends suburban and drove around serving it! Its just that "thing" God gave me! I think everyone has a "thing"! Mine is serving food! To me food doesn't just nourish your body it nourishes your soul! Its gave so many people after IKE that feeling of, "It's going to be all right"! Plus what an awesome way to start THAT conversation! T would say, "Do you need a sandwhich?" They would answer and as they would get what they wanted he would say, "Did you know God loves you?" Thats my Tan, he would preach to anyone that would listen! What an example of how a disciple should look! He teaches me something new everyday! Love that kid!

Here is Day 2 of B being gone! So far only a few minor "Ward" moments! My prayers are for me to let go, for my children and I to be safe and safety for all Brandon's crazy travels! I miss him already.

Surgery for Tan

Friday, Aug, 20, Tanner had his Tonsillectomy and an Adendoidectomy! He has been super sad, which is TOTALLY not Tanner and aggressive! It is so sad to watch my little guy this unhappy! I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all better!

The surgery itself was pretty fast but waking up seem to take a while! The first time he woke up he was a bit confused as to what was going on and what had happened, he just cried! He wanted nothing but, "Momma to hold him" so I did! We moved him and everything he was attached to to a hospital chair so that I could hold him! He was such a trooper and even politely asked the nurse for a throw up bucket, "May I please have that thing (pointing to a throw up bucket), I think I need to throw up." In fact I think he even asked that before he asked for me to hold him! So we settled in a chair and it seemed like HOURS but wasn't much longer than 30mins when he woke up a second time and was MUCH better and aware of what was going on! He ate a Popsicle than asked if he could go home! We got there around 6:45am and left sometime around 11am!

Not that this is ANY surprise to anyone but he turned on his charm even when he couldn't talk! The nurses just fell in love with my little man! They kept telling him he was the best patient EVER and he still remembers that! He loved them too! They took such great care of him and us!

As for today the meds are making him a crazy kid! I am going to try and take him off the pain meds tomorrow and hopefully that will change his mood for us! He is basically getting to eat WHATEVER he wants which has amounted to eggs and ice-cream and snowballs! I also got him Oreo cakes, which Oreos are his fav. cookie so he was excited to see that-- excited without a smile if you can image that!

Poor guy he has had such a rough few days! Thanks to Mr. Lowell for his first Ukulele lesson last week it has kept him entertained and us as well! I'm hoping to attach a song to either this blog or my site that he made up! We have also had Grammy and Pipaw, who watched Coley Thursday night and brought him Friday afternoon for some entertainment! Along with the coloring books she brought him! Grandma and Pop Pop stayed Friday night and tonight to help with everything and brought Tanner (and Coley) some balloons and a car to play with! Hopefully in the next few days things start looking up!

NEED MORE CRAFTS!

I love making messes, especially if it involves crafts or baking! Lately I've been too busy for either, or have I? I haven't spent anytime with myself lately! Sounds funny, I know. But honestly I haven't done enough of it! It occurred to me at my Bible Study last night, I don't even put "enough," whatever that is, into devoting my time to God! As someone else put it, He wants me to get to know Him better, He wants me to spend time with just Him and Him alone! Not while Im cooking, not while Im driving but time with JUST HIM! So, Thats what Im working on! I'm trying to have better time management and devote time to God and also to myself! I don't give myself enough time either! I don't give myself the time to do the things that make me happy! So tonight I did a simple craft, that I had promised my sister I would make for her, and it made me feel REALLY GOOD! So I end this post with a promise first and foremost to devote more time to God, and secondly to myself! I will read (the Bible), craft, bake and make MORE messes! OH and write more blogs!

My simple yet satisfying craft tonight:

"My crazy life"

Yes, its been 6months, again. Is anyone out there actually reading anyhow?

I have recently been told that I should have my own sitcom. I decided its title HAS to be, "My Crazy life" It never fails that things happen all at once and while Brandon is away (which lately has been pretty often).

Just an idea of how this sitcom would look: Me walking downstairs, rushing around to get two kids off and ready for preschool also where I teach. Im heading downstairs only to slip on some water on the floor, my thought, "Tanner must have left the freezer open again" Check the door, nope, its closed! Oh great fridge went out again! Throw some pop-tarts in the toaster oven, go grab towels to clean up the water, call a friend to tell her will be late and abruptly hang up on her because the toaster oven is on fire! As I attempt to use the fire extinguisher I send Tanner to a neighbors to get help, Then I basically end up spraying half the kitchen with white nasty stuff! Call friend back, tell her we are alive and could she come get my kids while I clean up my mess! After much debating I decided I would clean the best I could then head to school! I get in my car, only to have the tire pressure light on!

While this happened months ago, its all true and all happened in one morning, "My crazy life!"

It never fails for me to have a flat stroller tire, or spill my drink daily, or drop a whole entire bucket of flour on a newly mopped floor! Some would say thats clumsiness, I say I have two boys whom make me very sleepy! I prob say, "thats typical" (of me) atleast 5times a day, bonk myself on the head 10times a day; sometimes I wonder how I even made it through the day! I am a mess... and a little crazy!

What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?? That I could actually come back at another time and tell you what I have been up to? HA! The Ward house is super busy around here lately and writting a blog every night or even every few days is simply out of the question! But since everyone is napping right now heres a few things...

As for me I have started my new journey as a preschool teacher! Yup thats right! I am SUPER DUPER, can you tell Tanner is almost 4?--Super Duper is just a common phrase in our house,- ok so I cant even write about myself with out saying something about one of my kids! HA! Anyhow, I am SUPER DUPER blessed because not only do I have an awesome job working with young kids and teaching them about God, but I am only a classroom away from Tanner and a halway away from Cole! Does it get any better??

I have had a hard time adjusting to this having a job deal! I really did like my SAHM title! I was one of the few proud Moms to say, "I stay at home with my kids." To me, I was there to shape my children, I was there to see their first step, or hear their first word, not have some day care tell me what they did that day! I am proud and excited to get to fix my family a meal or to clean up after them. No its not a perfect world but this last year has made me realize and not take for granted the things I CAN do for my family. I have appriciated things like vacumig, cleaning toliets and odd nasty jobs no one WANTS to do. This past year I watched, listend and saw 3 very beautiful, young mothers suffer and pass away from cancer (all passed in the same weekend). I was there to hear the stories of not being able to get out of bed to cook dinner, or having friends come over to clean because they couldnt. I vowed never again to take those things for granted. Again, I am so very blessed to be healthly and capable of doing these things. (Even if I dont like or want to).

**My MOST fav job in the world is last week I woke up EXTRA early so that I could fix us all lunch for the day! I got to pack Bran a lunch (he was taking his test in Houston), Tanner, Cole and myself! It was a GREAT feeling. Brans response to me while I was doing this was. "Youve been waitting your whole life to do this havent you?" Of course I tried to play it off, "EUG, no I am so tired, I want to go back to bed." Then I couldnt help myself, "OK YEA I HAVE" with a HUGE grin!

I am blessed because I dont HAVE to work, I have choosen to work. I work in a place where as a co-worker would say, is "happy"! (I love her) Even though I am still so unsure of what I am doing there I feel like I was placed there for a reason. I am excited to meet some of my kids tomorrow. I think this will change everything. It will be much clearer to me as to why I am there. The PeeWee ministry at our chruch is one of the reasons why I got to where I am. The people there AMAZE me! I hope that one day one of my children that I have this year (and the years to follow) can look back and say the same. I dont see my "job" as much of a "job" DONT get me wrong I am sure shaping the minds of these 2-3year olds will be challenging and I will have days I will want to call it a job but on the flip side I will doing things I LOVE to do! I love crafting, I L-O-V-E messy hands, mostly though I love seeing little minds learn about Jesus and what he did for us. I get to see if first hand with all 12 of my special PeeWees! My hope is that at the end of the year my kids and their parents have come to Christ if they havent already and that they apprciate all of the things we have taught them! My prayer is that I can teach them not only the basic preschool stuff but also to be Christ like and to Glorify God in everything they do.

Tanner is who he is because of his teachers last year! They were "happy" HA! :) The three best teachers ANY parent could ask for! I cant even find the words to describe them! Great! Wonderful! Beatiful (inside and out)! I am excited to see the new things he will learn this year! Being there I have already met his new teachers and I love them too! I hope my parents walk away feeling the same way.

WOW that was a long blog, I need to learn to keep these things shorter! Hopefully I didnt bore you too much!

Blogging X2?

Ok, decided to give this a go around agian! After some facebooking today I figured I should blog the cute things my kids do (which allows Grandmaws and Grandpaws to see) and that way I have a way of Journaling it easier in their scrapbooks! Right?? Right!

So whats happened recently in the Ward house?

Tanner decided today that he was going to tell me that he didnt love me anymore! This all came about because he got into trouble for yelling at me while I was on the phone! After I told him to wait just a min (several times) he still cont. to yell at me. So once I got off the phone he got into trouble and a time out! He then started to yell from his room, "Mommy, I dont love you anymore!"! :( I told him he hurt my feelings and he said, "Well Mom your not being nice to me at all so I dont love you anymore!" I said, "well I guess since you dont love me anymore I dont have to be nice to you, so go lay in your bed and have time out!" He gets in his bed then shortly later I hear snoring!

He is so full of things to say! Recently he told me that he was going to work on a boat like his Dad and be a Preacher on the boat! Before that he was just going to be Preacher like Mrs. Kays husband! (Mrs. Kay was his teacher last year and her husband is one of our Pastors!)

I'm sure I will think of more of his funny sayings and there will be more to come from him!

Cole...good ol' Cole! The extreme screaming that he had been doing since the day he was born has pretty much stopped, unless you dont feed him. He will eat anything that you put into his mouth or that he can put into his mouth. Tanner was never this way, in fact we never really had any problems with Tanner putting much into his mouth! (we still have to force feed him!) Coles favorite thing to eat is paper, no really. He manages to find any and ever piece of paper and eat it. Today at church one of the ladies in his room said that he took her name tag off of her and started eatting it. We have started him on solids. This started because at his last docs visit he weighed in at 14.5lbs at 8months old! The doc basically said he was malnurished? Sure. After talking to her a bit about him we decided that he bascially can eat whatever it is he wants to eat. Obviously not steak. :) But so far hes had ground meat, mashed potatoes, peas, bread, beans, pizza (yes hes had pizza and went nuts over it)

He can sit up all by him self now and he scoots around super fast using just his arms! Its pretty hysterical to watch! Dadada was of course his first word and he says it ALL THE TIME. Brandon has said he heard him say Mamama but he doesnt say it much. :( He has 1 and 1/2 teeth! I love this stage of growing and everything developing but honestly I am sad at the fact that 1year is coming up quickly!

Brandon is still working offshore! The week of August 17 he takes his last coast guard exam! This will promote him to Chief Mate (if the company still has a position open)! Lets Pray that he passes and the company has an open shift (in the Gulf) for him! God has blessed us with a great job and Brandon has quickly moved up already!

ME! I have several GREAT things to report! ...and they are going to have to wait because Cole just woke up... Next time.

-The Wards